This morning while still in a fog, I read the following from a colleague:
“NO NO NO NO NO… Don’t fall in the temptation to trash everything. It’s the little tired A. inside who wants to do that, not the brave one, ready to finish the task and conquer yet another continent. We just don’t do that in this family. When the temptation is too strong we get out with friends and get some fresh air, sleep well, then look at it with different eyes.”
I was taken aback. Did I tell him I wanted to throw everything out? How can that be easy?
Then I slowly recollected my email to him expressing my desire to trash the draft of my book and to start over again. That this is easy still strikes me as blasphemy, but perhaps he has a point.
I’ve been reading the OCDReflections blog which recently features posts on sacrifice and hard work. The author explains that she has to put herself through the rituals, to do things the hard way, to demonstrate her willingness and ability to sacrifice. That’s something that resonates all while I think, “that’s just plain crazy,” because I’m too lazy to suffer that much. Still, confronting these items one by one and posting them on craigslist has been far more work than I expected. It’s also a distraction from the “real” work I should be doing.
It’s said that a hoarder must confront the items or the cycle will only begin again. Is trashing the stuff the easy way out?